Hey, really attractive girl in front of me in line at the grocery store, you probably don’t remember me, but I was standing behind you.   Anyway I just wanted to say, when you told your joke at the checkout counter, about how “it’s super weird that like, Chex mix, is just like mostly Chex, and pretzels, so it’s not even a mix.  They should just call it Chex pretzels,” and everyone laughed, in reality, none of us actually thought it was funny.

To be honest, I don’t really even get what you were trying to say, and the bag boy that laughed only speaks Russian.

I know, I know, it seems weird because I’m sure later in the night, when you recounted that story to your boyfriend, he also laughed.  He doesn’t think it’s funny either.  We just all really want to f*&k you, and in some alternate reality our penis thought that if we laughed at that joke, you’d immediately bend down and put it in your mouth.  I have no idea why my penis would think that, since it’s never happened before.  But then when you had your groceries in your cart and tried to push it and the wheel spun around and you said “This wheel is so funky!” and made a weird face, our penises thought that maybe it might happen this time, and we all laughed again.  It’s not really “funky.”  Shopping carts are pretty notorious for having problems with their wheels.  So, anyway, to conclude,  sorry for laughing.